Saturday, August 14, 2010

My shattered psyche

There are days where I still miss you. I hear the phantom sounds of your voice. Your scent enters my memory. In these moments I am sad. Not only because of what was last, but because I let you this far in. You never treated me good, you cheated, you yelled, you manipulated. But I still let you get so close. Hell I still get the feeling that I will never meet anyone that will get me like you. Out of everyone I know you know me the best. You have seen every side of me.

I was a fool to let you sink into my brain so hard, part of me wants to say it will never happen again. But I want it to. I want that connection like we had, I just don't want you anymore. I don't know how to deal with this stress properly, I just want a woman to love and understand me. But I am far too fucked up for that, I am damaged goods that no one wants. Destined to be placed in the friendzone of any woman I meet. Fuck bitches. So sick of it. I see all these women jumping through hoops for men that couldn't give a fuck about them. Meanwhile good, but flawed, people like me are lonely.

I still look at pictures of you every once in a while. I still think about you daily, but I am sure you barely even consider my existence.

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